If You Want To Be Really Selfish Learn To Forgive
If ever we needed to muster creativity in our decision making posture this might be it.
I know this sounds kind of crass, but you’ll see what I mean in a second. There is a very good article by Judith Orloff dealing with forgiveness on the Huffington Post. The only real problem with the article is that it is too subtle. It is like being young and going to church when you really didn’t want to be there and hearing a sermon on forgiveness. I feel like one needs to put it into the proper perspective. When you really feel done in by someone revenge or getting even can be an all consuming thought. In fact it can be so consuming that it produces a cascade of chemicals, the kind that you can feel just churn in your gut. The problem in a nutshell is that these chemicals just keep flowing and you can feel the toxicity just building. Deep inside you know there is damage going on, kind of like being fire bombed, but still the anger prevails. I know I have been there and I bet you have too. Having said that I am saying that you have to detach from that state just long enough to see yourself poisoning yourself. In that detached state, and I think this is really where you have to be, you can say to yourself, ” I really need to turn the tap off on these toxic chemicals. What do I do to stop it? This is the forgiveness portal. It is really about you, not the person who has done you wrong. Once you can forgive then the toxins stop flowing. The hat trick is to really understand that. And this is the reason I say you have to be want to be really selfish, but how?
Secondly I feel you really have to wrestle with this idea. Like so many kinds of advice we get, the ides make intellectual sense but how do we really “grok” it? By that I mean how do we absorb that idea. Think of having to mix the idea with a strong dash of DMSO to have it permate your system. Once it happens you will feel like you have passed some kind of an initiation. The problem won’t bother you anymore because you will have felt smart enough about the situation to keep the toxins from flowing. As we look around in the world you would think this idea could certainly be useful, but in that sense you can see that it is a much more difficult concept to absorb than to talk about. I wrote about this journey personally in my recently released book. It is on Kindle as well as paper back.
Best of luck and I would welcome your comments on this subject. It is truly a game changer.